She said her name was "party"
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
