I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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