dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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