she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
