Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
