sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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