My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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