it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize