just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
