my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
