Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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