she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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