Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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