im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
