party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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