im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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