After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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