yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
