Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize