i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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