everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
