Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
