I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
