Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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