I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
