and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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