I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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