Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's shark week go big or go home
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
