last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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