Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
