Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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