is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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