Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
