Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize