was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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