I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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