I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
