my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
