I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
