i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
