drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
