There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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