The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
