Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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