Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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