I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
