Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
