her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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