ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
