mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
