Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
