Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
