Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
then he tried to convert me to islam
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
