yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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