had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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