Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
