Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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