Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
