whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
