i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
do nipples grow back?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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