i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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