Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
