..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
