Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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