Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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