I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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