I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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