Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
