I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
