My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
