I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize