in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
